I Surrender

At last I’ve conceded to become a nameless face in the crowd. Am I a person with too many imperfections?

Today I’m forced to remove my so called banner “I’m just Natalia”. I wanted to protest – actually – I didn’t say “I’m Natalia”, I said “I’m just Natalia”- I said I’m nothing more.

But my protest ended up halfway in my throat – yes – I yield to this wish - irrevocably and absolutely I surrender.

But I’ve to say one thing and else I’ll never be alright. I’m not an egomaniac. And I’m doing all I can to become a better person.

Donno hw I’m assessed – hw I’m labelled – I’m either underestimated or over estimated – but still - I’m doing all I can to become a better person.

Just Natalia

I’m not a nameless face in the crowd

But not yet a celebrity…

I’m just Natalia.

For some I’m a sweet hearted person

Someone who cannot be missed

Yet some gets disturbed

By the mere thought of my name

Everyone sees in me the reflection of their very self.

I’m neither magnetic nor suave

My face is not my arena

My delicate vista does not convey I’m fearless

I don’t mind paths, I mind targets.

I’m not a daredevil,

I’m just Natalia.

I don’t write words, I paint them

My words are powerful

But they may not change the world

I’m not a poet,

I’m just Natalia.

Strolling back through the dark pages of history

I seek the mystery of deceit

In place of facts I see a bare stilted epic.

I’m not a pursuer,

I’m just Natalia.

I’ve discovered nothing, established nothing

Changed nothing

Just dreamt of everything to be flawless and perfect

Still loving the reflections of colors inside a kaleidoscope

I’m not a day dreamer,

I’m just Natalia.

Personating an avalanche I break the bonds,

Destroys and still surges…

Gets lost while walking back through my own verses…

When conquered,

I stay laughing on the relics of my wounded pride.

I’m not a philosopher,

I’m just Natalia.

Being Natalia is not everything, I know.

Natalia is an incomplete chapter,

A word alone in a dictionary…

A character in search of an author…

But I love being myself.

FORESIGHT

The ambiguity of APRIL reflects in me
I’ve set one foot in FAIRYTALE and the other in ABYSS
I feel like a FALLEN ANGEL
Life took me through days
In quest of TRUTH,
Of SELF REALIZATION
I seek the deception beyond HISTORY
I wish to fly before TIME
I fear my DREAMS may fly off through open doors
I see beyond my eyes
It seems strange,
But I spent the main part of my life
Fighting against LONELINESS
I’m searching for someone who can set me free
Someone who can make me feel like a GODESS
Am I a dictator or a slave?
Will my grail overflow with the ELIXIR OF LIFE…?
To cure the anguish of ages…